The Panama Papers are a leak of millions of files of data
From now infamous law firm Mossack Fonseca.
National leaders, politicians, celebrities now entangled
Caught in this pants down global tax scandal.
Do not be quick to confuse tax planning with tax evasion
What seems a shady place may be a prudent tax haven.
The world is overdue cross border cooperation and international tax schemes;
Complex tax resolutions require patience – it’s much harder that it seems.
Tata Steel wants to sell its works in South Wales
The future of Port Talbot is on the proverbial rails.
One million pounds are lost, so they say
In that plant, employing thousands, every day.
In 1875 Britain produced forty percent of global steel
Industrial revolution, Empire, unrivalled confidence and zeal.
Today that number is a mere one percent
Self-reliance, nostalgia for industry – we all lament.
In China a ton of cabbages costs more than a ton of steel
Subsidies from Beijing, nationalised enterprise, no level trade deal.
Alas short term over supply may cull centuries of British expertise
And when our skills are gone, we’ll have to rely on those from overseas.
Obama has visited Cuba amongst much fanfare and show
The first President since Calvin Coolidge, 88 years ago.
This is most significant – it is a Berlin Wall moment
It puts squabbles to bed with much mutual atonement.
But be careful what you wish for, oh people of Havana
Americans will arrive with their burgers and bandannas.
Your new found friends with be demanding and encroaching
The dam has burst, the hoards they are approaching!
Empty beaches, empty cottages and a yachtless sea
Just fishermen and gulls, no tourist cream teas
But now Easter is here again and that Spring time vacation
And sleepy Cornwall awakes from it’s quiet hibernation.
M4, A30, Flybe and South West Trains
The arteries from London begin to flow again.
Trebetherick’s lanes are clogged with Fulham mothers in Chelsea tanks
Setting up home pre arrival of their husbands from the banks.
The car parks are bursting and the estuary is chocablock
With boats, wetsuits and debutantes from Port Isaac right up to Rock.
The cliff paths are rampant with binoculars and bird watch prying
But it’s the breasts on Polzeath beach that these chaps are really spying.
Archie has become quite expert at making castles in the sand
And older brother Bertie is happier in the water than on the land.
Lucinda prefers the rock pools, catching little shrimps and fish
For nanny to cook and peel and add to tonight’s seafood dish.
Mummy sips some rosé with Clapham friends staying just next door
And Daddy drinks too much beer, bangs on, becomes a bore.
For a special treat one night we’ll take the ferry across to Padstow
And supper at Rick Steins: “It’s the very best, you know!”
They serve proper fish and chips with a real knife and fork
No newspaper wrapped in grease here, nor nasty brown sauce.
A sprig of parsley and perhaps some mushy peas and squid
With a glass of Chardonnay, no change from fifty quid.
All too soon the holiday comes to a happy end
Weight-boards are packed away (they’re the latest trend).
Holiday cottages are now cleaned; doors shut and locked
Their inhabitants to join the roads that are already blocked.
And grumpy locals celebrate at the departure of guests so raucous
They count the pennies, shut up shop and wait for lucrative August!
Taxes are now being imposed on sugary drinks
To curb obesity and cut waistlines methinks.
Perhaps for the dentists this is not such good news
Less cavities and root canals, less to remove.
Mike Bloomberg has announced that for President he will not run
And, alas, we will lose the contribution of America’s brightest sun.
This unique polymath, the like we so rarely find
Will deny the Oval Office of his talents; he’s now declined.
Born in Boston on Valentine’s Day 1942
Descendent of Russian immigrants, blue collar and a Jew.
Mike studied hard, an intellectual mind he did display
He won a place at Harvard and gained an MBA.
At Salomon Brothers he swiftly climbed the ladder, he made senior exec
Aged 39 he was made redundant, received a ten million dollar cheque.
He used the money to create the world’s best hub of information
Terminals, news, analytics – the financial markets must have application.
From information and connectivity he then become New York mayor
He shared leadership and vision, displayed qualities so rare.
This entrepreneur, this philanthropist, won’t make President number forty-five
But his special influence will live on, he remains very much alive.
Zimbabwe’s President celebrated his birthday – an annual charade
Of a starving and impoverished population there was no regard.
The insuperable Robert Mugabe is now 92 years of age
And a 92 kilo cake was the party’s central stage.
Since independence in 1980 this man has ruled his nation
Zanu PF, fear, white slaughter, utter domination.
Perhaps it’s actually Yorkshire where he’s from;
Mugabe written backwards is, simply, E-ba-gum!
On the 5th June 1975
A referendum was held, it sought to derive
Whether the UK wished to remain in the European Community
To continue her membership or break from the unity.
Back then it was coal and steel, a common market for the willing
Sovereignty maintained with Deutsche Mark, Franc and Shilling.
Then Maastricht and the Euro suggested federal state
And more members joined – there’s now 28.
Be you in favour of staying in or desperate to get out,
Democracy in action is what it’s all about.
The youngest person who have originally voted is now 59
So in June a new electorate will have their say, and not before time.
Harper Lee has passed away,
Though her literary mark is here to stay.
To Kill a Mocking Bird lives on;
A Pulitzer Prize phenomenon.
The novel is about 1960s racial tension
It struck a chord with the world and drew attention.
An innocent black man in an Alabama court is depicted
Defended by honourable Atticus Finch, yet still he’s convicted.
The magic of the tale is that it is told through the eyes of a girl.
It’s via ten year old Scout that we see the drama unfurl.
Honest, observant, untainted by the isms of real adult life
It’s the child’s innocence that exacerbates such tragic racial strife.
Roses are red
Violets are blue.
In Valentine’s week
We’ve had a gravity coup.
Einstein’s theory
Of gravitational waves
Has at last been proven
Scientists praised.
We will now establish
The birth of space
From where we’ve come
To what might take place.
Black holes, supernovas,
Universal space station,
Meteors, the Great Bear –
My favourite constellation.
Back down here on earth
Is she from Venus, he from Mars?
Will you get a Valentine “Big Bang”?
And will you reach for the stars?
waxingsatirical.com 